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Mothering without a Compass White Mother's Love, Black Son's Courage Becky Thompson REVIEWS: |
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A lively meditation on creating a multiracial family. In 1997, Becky Thompson began parenting nine-year-old Adrian at the request of his mother, and her life changed forever. Mothering without a Compass is the moving story of her first year as the white lesbian "sudden-mother" of an African American boy. From the everyday yet sometimes overwhelming tasks of finding Adrian a school and debating the significance of action figures, to unexpected discussions about who pays whom at the sperm bank, to the more complicated matters of racism, sexuality, nontraditional families, open adoption, love, and loss, Thompson gives us an absorbing and often humorous account of her attempt at antiracist, multicultural parenting. Mothering without a Compass highlights a range of issues and experiences: Thompson's desire to be a good mother while holding on to her sense of self; her growing, detailed knowledge of the ways in which racism affects people's feelings about themselves and the world around them; her increasing appreciation of the inner life of a child; her realization that mothering forces her to confront her own vulnerabilities and past losses. The book opens with Adrian's arrival and ends with a visit from Adrian's biological mother, during which she and Thompson search for ways to respect each other as parents across racial, religious, and cultural divides. Mothering without a Compass relates a lesbian parent's struggle to help her child grow up and describes the complexities facing children who have more than one family. This candid, personal story shows that it is through everyday life that questions about race, class, gender, and sexuality are often played out. It is a necessary book for all parents—for anyone concerned with the challenge of raising justice-minded children in a complicated world. "In 1997, Thompson, a white lesbian, was asked to take custody of 9-year-old Adrian, an African-American boy, at the request of the boy's mother. This book chronicles their first year of life together. It's a sweet story that proves while love makes a family, sometimes making a family also creates love. Thompson tackles the issue that you'd expect to come up when a white lesbian adopts a child of color. But she also writes humorously and lovingly about less typical things, like the Hulk action figure she makes disappear." —Curve "The beauty of the book is in its universality. The care and energy Thompson invests in teaching Adrian about his culture and others can and should be invested in any child. The implications of accepting 'instant motherhood' of an African American boy with a troubled history are huge, yet Thompson embarks with an open mind and heart, doing her utmost to rear the child with all the grace, dignity, and intelligence she can muster. Her experiences are a powerful example." —Hope "A lesbian mother talks about the challenges and joys of raising her adopted African American son. Tackles the issues of gender, race, class and motherhood in a sensitive and humorous way." —Skipping Stones "Becky Thompson tackles transracial adoption. It's a sweet story that goes a long way in proving that while love makes a family, sometimes making a family also creates love." —Lambda Book Report "Very moving." —MultiCultural Review Becky Thompson is the author of A Hunger So Wide and So Deep (1994), Beyond a Dream Deferred (1993), and A Promise and a Way of Life (2001). She is associate professor of sociology at Simmons College in Boston. 200 pages | 5-3/8 x 8-1/2 | 2000 |
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$30.00 Cloth/jacket